So thanks to our State of Ohio social safety net of welfare I was able to get an eye exam. I picked the doctor out of the provider directory because he had the same name as Deep Purple's bass player back in the Seventies and the office was close by. When you look through this machine they flip different lense combinations back and forth and ask "Better or worse?" until it gets so close you can hardly tell the difference. It makes me think of all the political ads that are infesting TV lately. Better or worse? A thief or a creep? A Commie or a Nazi? I want more choices, or even a "None of the above" selection.
They put drops in the eyes to dilate the pupils so they can look inside. It makes you very light-sensitive so they give you a little sunglass panel to help shield the peepers. It takes a long while for the dilation to wear off and it was a beautiful sunny day. Women used to do the same thing with belladonna (deadly nightshade) so their eyes would be big, dark, and beautiful. I'm not sure if they used the same stuff on me or not.
By the way, a couple of days later I also got a colonoscopy but I left my camera in my pants in the locker, plus I was narcotized/sedated, so no pics. But they tell me it was something like this. Except they didn't find any gerbil adventures, nor polyps neither, just a bit of diverticulosis. That's right, I got me some pouchy chitlins. I need less stress, more fiber.
I don't know how you manage to make even a trip to the Dr. sound so entertaining Barry! Maybe it was the pouchy chitlins. I'm glad I'm not the only one that can't distinguish between better or worse on the latter part of that eye test. ~Lili
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